With the innovation of merchants’ tea making skills, new ways of "fancy tea drinking" emerge one after another, which are welcomed by many consumers.
The picture shows some young people gathering for tea in a tea room in Tunxi District, Huangshan City, Anhui Province. Xinhua News Agency reporter Du Yushe
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The picture shows two tourists communicating in the camping equipment exhibition area. Photo by Tang Xucheng (People’s Vision)
Some time ago, a topic named "More than half of young people have partners" boarded a hot search in Weibo, with a reading volume of 200 million times; At the same time, there are also topics such as "partner is a new social relationship" and "why young people need partner". The word "Tai Zi" originated from Jiangnan dialect. In the traditional context, there are such sayings as rice "Tai Zi" and brand "Tai Zi", which mean rice friends and card friends.
The topic of "partner" has been paid more and more attention on the Internet, which reflects that the dialect "partner" has gone out of the traditional context and transformed into a new social way among young people, which has become popular among more and more people and a new expression of emotional needs.
"It’s popular to find a partner now, and I’m moved."
"Looking for a’ partner’! In 1997, in Yuhang District, I came out to play on weekends! Talk show, table games, appointments, punching in and taking pictures. With a camera, we can shoot each other. I’m a good photographer! I hope to find a’ partner’ who is about the same age and loves to chat. " In April this year, Qian Qian of Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province posted such a message on the social platform Xiaohongshu. Qian Qian, a girl from the north, came to work in Hangzhou after graduate school. As a newcomer, the weekend was a bit boring. "It is popular to find a partner now, and I am also moved. I hope to find a partner to play with through the Internet." Qian Qian said.
After the post was sent, she received many private messages and added many WeChat friends. However, because of her slow personality, she has never asked anyone else out. "Later, I added a girl to WeChat! She asked me out on her own initiative, and the chat was very interesting, so there would be no ice. We took photos together, watched talk shows and went shopping to buy clothes. " Qian Qian is very satisfied with her "playing partner".
From the data point of view, it is not unusual for Qian Qian to find a "partner". As of May, the number of views of the "partner" entry in Xiaohongshu reached 20 million, and the number of notes published in the entry exceeded 1.54 million. There are all kinds of "seeking a partner" posts; Weibo has read more than 100 million related topics, and the popularity is still rising-finding a partner has become a fashionable social way among young people.
Zhou Xiaopeng, a national psychological counselor, pointed out that "partners" can be regarded as precise companions in subdivided fields. As long as people share common interests in a certain field and accompany each other for a certain purpose, they can be called partners.
According to Dong Chenyu, a lecturer at the School of Journalism, Renmin University of China, compared with nodding acquaintances, relatives and friends, the meaning of "partner" is quite subtle in proper limit. He pointed out that according to the theory of social infiltration, people’s social interaction can be divided from shallow to deep: knowing the name, contact information, work content and other resume information, personal hobbies, goals and visions, and fears and weaknesses. If you deeply understand each other’s goals and visions, fears and weaknesses, you must be very familiar friends and relatives; If you only know some basic resume information, you can only be regarded as a colleague or a nodding acquaintance. Among them, "individual hobby" and "partner" are very similar. Two people "touch each other but are not too intimate, and do things based on common interests", which is called "partner".
In real life, the social interaction of "partners" presents rich and diverse classifications, from fitness partners who meet for sports, and script partners who play together to kill partners, to library partners who study together and discuss profound topics with each other. Kun Yan, an international student studying in Ireland, recalled that when she was studying in China, she had an application for studying abroad. "Tiezi" is her classmate in the same college. Before that, they were familiar but never talked. "At that time, I wanted to go abroad to study for a PhD. I learned from my classmates that she was also applying, so I wanted to join her and exchange application experience and precautions." In this way, the two hit it off.
It can be seen that finding a partner is not limited to "widely advertising" on the Internet, and there is also the possibility of finding a partner. According to the report released by relevant institutions, people are more likely to find a partner in real life-more than 80% of the respondents said that the partner came from classmates and colleagues, and only less than 20% of them knew it through online and offline activities.
In terms of personnel distribution, the ratio and preference of different groups to find partners are also different. White-collar workers with stable working environment are more likely to find partners than freelancers, and women are more likely to find partners than men. Generally speaking, the "partners" of various groups mainly focus on catering consumption and outdoor travel.
Light socialization without burden
How did "partner" socialize among young people? Hu Penghui, a lecturer in the Department of Sociology of Huazhong University of Science and Technology and a tutor for master students, pointed out that we should first see the impact of macro-social changes on micro-individuals. "Modernization transformation or urbanization development has brought great mobility to people. Many people will not stay in their hometown all the time, but go out to study and then stay in other places. In the traditional sense, the state of’ born and raised in Sri Lanka’ is even rarer than before, and it is difficult for’ strangers’ to communicate face-to-face with parents and relatives who are far apart in space. "
However, as a social animal, people need to find emotional closeness by socializing, draw energy and fight against loneliness. Hu Penghui believes that in the face of unfamiliar places and strange people, individualized youth tend to choose interpersonal communication that "gives priority to meeting their own needs". Partners with common interests and common purposes just meet this demand.
Lulu, a Beijing girl, once looked for a "partner" to go to Hong Kong to watch a concert. At that time, both of them were worried that the local people were unfamiliar and they were also worried about buying fake tickets, so they became "partners". "Go with friends, she will go to the concert for me, and I will pay accordingly to accompany her to visit the scenic spots, but the whole time is not enough. Going with’ take the child’, we have the same goal. It is good to go to Hong Kong as long as we finish watching the concert. "
Hu Penghui pointed out that the positive significance of "partner" socialization is that it is a kind of light socialization without burden, and at the same time it can get some emotional compensation to achieve a certain goal. In other words, "partner" socialization has the tool attribute of "self-interest". When both sides have the same goal, "partner" socialization can serve this and help them "warm each other". The tacit sense of distance and the tacit sense of staying at home make it easy for the "partners" to stay in their comfort zones, without pretending to be familiar or asking questions. This is the reason why the "partner" social fire rises, and it is also its charm.
"From this perspective,’ partner’ socialization is a downgrade of intimacy. Of course, some people will think that it is not worth living. " Hu Penghui said, "However, this strong tool attribute is still necessary for people who are eager to meet certain needs." For example, sports "partners" accompany each other in the gym, avoiding being alone and exercising; The library has made progress in learning and reading writing papers. The philosophical "partner" resonates at a deep level, and it is not an exaggeration to say that it is a modern version of "high mountains and flowing water". This makes individualized young people feel belonging and no longer lonely.
A possibility of finding "nearby" again
"There is a saying of’ nearby’ in academic circles." Hu Penghui mentioned that this can also be linked to finding a partner. With the development of society and the continuous extension of the Internet to the end, you can order takeout from the APP and sit at home and surf the Internet to know everything. You no longer need to meet people around you in the morning and evening as before. "As a result, people are becoming more and more’ atomized’, paying more attention to themselves and’ far away’ and ignoring’ 500 meters around’." Looking for a partner is actually the first step to get out of the room, find intimacy and belonging, and regain the "neighborhood".
Even though studying in different countries, Kun Yan still keeps in touch with "partners" across the ocean. She feels that on weekdays, they have in-depth exchanges on private life, personal feelings and studies, which is a signal that the two sides have further developed into friends. "Although the other party was initially defined as’ applying for studying abroad’, in fact, we have already crossed the border and become sisters who talk about everything and laugh together."
Dong Chenyu interprets this phenomenon of regaining "neighborhood" as the disintegration of "partner" relationship caused by the social instability of "partner". "When two people decide to’ peel an onion’ together and become friends, the relationship collapses." Dong Chenyu said. However, "emotional upgrade" is the positive disintegration of "partner" relationship.
However, there are only a few people like Kun Yan who develop "partners" as friends. More often, they may find that their orientations and priorities are different when they get along. "For example, if you become a rice partner with a person, you will find that one person can eat whatever he wants, but the other one will haggle over every ounce, thinking that this is expensive and that is not worth it. Once there is disharmony, the’ partner’ may tacitly return to the first layer of’ onion’, and the’ partner’ relationship will no longer exist. " Dong Chenyu said.
Even if they share the same orientation, Zhou Xiaopeng thinks that "partner" socialization is not completely reliable, and even being keen on making friends with "partner" may lead to the deterioration of individuals’ ability to deal with long-term relationships. She pointed out that there are three roles in intimate relationships, namely: I am happy, regardless of other people’s "child role"; I want to take care of other people’s "parental roles"; We should not only manage others like parents, but also play "adult roles" like children. "Children can play happily, but they can’t be responsible for each other." Zhou Xiaopeng said, "Some people are addicted to socializing with each other, and if they get together, they will break up, which will make them childlike and make them unable to handle the long-term relationship around them. To put it more seriously, if this person is too childish, then he will never become an adult. "
Hu Penghui believes that it should be fully realized that people’s need for a sense of belonging always exists, and the emotional support provided by "partners" is limited after all. If you look for a partner with the goal of "looking for a partner", you will eventually limit the possibility of in-depth communication because you are too clear about the boundaries and refuse to take another step.
Experts suggest that it is a good way to regain the "neighborhood" by socializing with friends, but after all, we should keep an open mind and actively seek true friendship and intimate relationship. (Reporter Wang Jingyu)
